Chrome parts for your car

Ever since I was a little boy grown ups have always said to me, ‘listen and you’ll learn’. Often saying ‘less of this (pointing to their mouth) and more of this’ (grabbing their ears) which I always thought was silly seeing as I’ve always had substantial ears, I definitely didn’t need more.

Anyway listen and you’ll learn is quite a watertight philosophy, I think you’ll agree, hence when the STA advisor told us to get off the beaten track and head to Maine in New England we heeded his advice.

For economic purposes (because we’re skint) we decided to take a Megabus to Boston after work then pick up a hire car from there and drive the 7 hours through the night to Maine. It was double the cost to get two drivers put on the insurance so I was ‘Des’. I won’t lie, considering my track record with cars, that was a worry.

My driving instructor used to phone his wife and kids before every lesson. At first I just thought he was a nice guy. Then he started praying, I just thought he’d found God. Then he turned up wearing a crash helmet, that’s when I knew I was pants. After 175 lessons my Dad sold his house and started teaching me himself. I was finally ready for my test. Clearly I wasn’t because four tests later I was such a regular down the test centre that I had my own car parking space (double the size of the others) and they always had my favourite biscuits in. They weren’t all nice though. On my third test I was flying; mirror, manoeuvre, signal, I couldn’t put a foot wrong. Then the Instructor and supposed expert told me to take the next left. So I did, it was a one way street, which would have been fine, except all the cars were going the opposite way to me.

My problems with cars didn’t stop there. I passed and was the proud owner of a new Rover Metro. In general that car was good to me. It had a few problems with the speed dial, if I turned right I always seemed to speed up and if I turned left I always slowed down; I never understood that but it meant I rarely had to brake so it worked in my favour. The only other problem I ever had with it was the roof leaked. My Dad was always telling me to fix it but being a student I had plenty of hoodies so I never got round to it and it never really bothered me. Until I asked Lucy out on our first date. I asked her what she was planning to wear (praying for a hoody) she said a dress so I checked the forecast and told her to bring an umbrella.

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